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Hanging Around

When I was a child I was never allowed to just go out, I wasn’t allowed to hang around on the streets or at the park. If I was going somewhere my mum liked to know where I was going and when I’d be back.

I tend to have the same rule for my teenage son, I don’t like him just going to the park in the evenings (in the dark) which makes it harder in winter. I don’t mind him going to a friend’s house but I really don’t like him just hanging around outside in the dark.

I think this frustrates my son at times as its what his friends do. I’m aware sometimes that we live in a city and they’re not always the safest places. We live in a ‘good’ part of the city but there was an incident recently where a group of young men attacked a police car. I’d hate him to be caught up in anything like that.

I’d be interested to hear people’s own experiences and what rules you set for your own teenage children.

10 Responses

Jenny Miller
Jenny Miller December 11, 2013 at 8:00 am · Reply →
My parents did the same with me! At the time I found it really frustrating but now I have my own children I know why they didn’t want me to! There is no way when my two are old enough to go out will they be hanging about the streets! I totally agree with you and though you’re son may not be too impressed with your decision but when he is older I am sure he will appreciate your decision xx

Corinne
Corinne December 11, 2013 at 8:39 am · Reply →
I hope so Jenny, I imagine he goes sometimes when staying with friends, but I think he needs to know I don’t like him doing it! x

Tracy (@C0dfanglers)
Tracy (@C0dfanglers) December 11, 2013 at 8:18 am · Reply →
I was lucky with my eldest sons…one was into cricket and attended an amateur dramatics company and the other was a home bird, if he did go out, it was round his mates house.

You only have total control over your children for so long and then it’s down to the morals and guidelines that you have brought them up to know. You do what you can and hope you’ve done enough. It must have been enough because I’m proud to say that neither of them got into trouble.

In my experience, you never stop worrying about your children no matter how old they are. Mine are now 25 and 21 and live in London. I worry about them everyday but you have to let them experience life…. the problem I see for your son is that he is at that funny age where there isn’t a lot to do that’s free and suitable for teenagers….so they hang around in groups.

Parenting isn’t an easy job, that’s why we go grey prematurely. 😉 x

Corinne
Corinne December 11, 2013 at 8:35 am · Reply →
Thank you Tracy, I think you’re right. He knows what I expect of him and right from wrong. My worry isn’t him as much, though I worry about him doing stupid things like not concentrating when crossing the road, but other people. We live in a city where there are stabbings and trouble and it worries me tht I can’t keep him safe.

Karen
Karen December 11, 2013 at 8:56 am · Reply →
I was at boarding school, so a lot of my childhood was different. But when I was home on holiday, whilst I had some level of freedom (I was flying thousands of miles “alone” supervising my little brother, my parents couldn’t really say I wasn’t able to look after myself or be responsible) I was still expected to be home at the given time and my parents wanted to know where I’d be and roughly who with and there were certain places I was not allowed to go (near the night clubs) and if I broke the rules I was grounded.

Corinne
Corinne December 11, 2013 at 12:27 pm · Reply →
I think breaking the rules is part of your teenage years and I actually don’t mind (not that I let him know that!) but I’m glad to hear people saying they had similar rules and did stick to them!

Grethe tozer
Grethe tozer December 11, 2013 at 6:03 pm · Reply →
My lot are 20, 18, 16,15,14,12 and 8
We live in a bit of a rough area in London
I’ve never allowed them to just go out and hang
Around , they were allowed to be in the park ,
Which I can see from my house till it got dark
But other than that they’ve only been allowed
To go out if they were going somewhere particular.
They have to be home by ten , my 16 year old is usually
Just up the road at his friends house till ten and my 15 year old is usually at her football training down the road till around half past nine.

Mrs Teepot
Mrs Teepot December 14, 2013 at 6:34 pm · Reply →
When I was a teen I spent a lot of time at the local park with friends in the afternoons/evenings. Having said that I lived in the countryside and the park was in a small town with little trouble so not a city.
I think only you know what is right, there is no point saying that he can go out to the park if you will be sat worrying about him the whole time he is there.

Helen Lee
Helen Lee December 16, 2013 at 9:37 am · Reply →
My mum did the same to me and at the time I thought she was really mean, but now I’m 36 I’m so glad she did that! When I’ve got children I’ll do the same.

Dan
Dan December 20, 2013 at 11:25 am · Reply →
My mum always set rules when I was younger, and up to the age of 11 or so she would even ban me from seeing certain friends outside of school as she believed (correctly) that they were a bad influence.

As a dad now, I hate the idea of my two eldest (13 and 11, both girls) going out to meet friends simply because of what *could* happen. I never intend to stop them from going places, but these days I can install trackers on their mobiles if needed, which I would probably suggest if they start wanting to go further afield.

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